When I found out I was pregnant with baby number 2, I was ecstatic! They would be close in age, be each other’s confidant and hopefully best friends for life. Naturally, we worried whether our older son would be receptive to his new baby brother. That feeling didn’t last long as it became clear to us that he would be fine due to his protective and nurturing personality. As my due date approached, my worries started to shift onto myself. Was I capable of showing love for my sons equally? Would my oldest son feel like he was being replaced? What if the baby felt neglected due to me overcompensating with his big brother? Mom guilt was REAL! I now realize that while I love both of my boys, I don’t love them in the same way and that’s perfectly fine!
Naturally, we worried whether our older son would be receptive to his new baby brother.
If you have siblings, do your parents tell you they love you all the same? Hate to break it to you but it’s not possible. The truth is you cannot love your children exactly the same. I’m 1 of 5 children so I’m speaking from experience here! I also asked my dad so that helps a ton too..lol!Whether you have 2, 3 or 10, all of your children will have different personalities. They’ll have different likes, dislikes, wants, needs, etc; across the board! You’ll connect with each child differently but the love will still be there. Imagine my shock when I realized baby number 2 loves sweets & veggies unlike his big brother…I almost fell out of my chair!..lol.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Favoritism is a real thing. Long-term favoritism can have damaging effects into your LO’s adult years. We as parents need to be mindful of how much attention and affection we’re giving our kids daily.
One of the most important things you can do for your children is love them the way they need you to rather than how you think you should love them.
It all boils down to 2 things. What part of us & how much of us each child will require at any given moment are key. For example, my older son likes to cuddle and watch movies together. My younger son would rather me in the room but space to do his own thing (yes, even at 10 months..lol). I’m sure certain aspects of their personalities & interests may change as they get older. We’ll be sure to encourage those interests & passions to help them thrive. Bottom line, they’ll always know they are loved for who they are as individuals.
Are you expecting baby number 2 or thinking about adding to your tribe? You may want to keep this in mind. Don’t beat yourself up and do the best you can to see your children as individuals. One of the most important things you can do for your children is love them the way they need you to rather than how you think you should love them.
Can you relate? How has becoming a parent of two or more changed your perspective on parenthood? Let’s chat below!
Healthy Hair To Toe <3