I Don’t Love My Kids Equally: The Reality of Motherhood After Baby Number 2

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When I found out I was pregnant with baby number 2, I was ecstatic! They would be close in age, be each other’s confidant and hopefully best friends for life. Naturally, we worried whether our older son would be receptive to his new baby brother. That feeling didn’t last long as it became clear to us that he would be fine due to his protective and nurturing personality. motherhood, bossmom, bossmomnation, munamommy, parenting magazine, healthyhairtotoe, targetbaby, cat and jack, dress the bump, bumpstyle, pregnancy fashion, how to prepare child for baby number 2, natural hair, pregnancy fashion, toddler fashion, old navy style, baby number 2, pregnancy, maternity style, mommy bloggerAs my due date approached, my worries started to shift onto myself. Was I capable of showing love for my sons equally? Would my oldest son feel like he was being replaced? What if the baby felt neglected due to me overcompensating with his big brother? Mom guilt was REAL! I now realize that while I love both of my boys, I don’t love them in the same way and that’s perfectly fine!

Naturally, we worried whether our older son would be receptive to his new baby brother.

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If you have siblings, do your parents tell you they love you all the same? Hate to break it to you but it’s not possible. The truth is you cannot love your children exactly the same. I’m 1 of 5 children so I’m speaking from experience here! I also asked my dad so that helps a ton too..lol!motherhood, bossmom, bossmomnation, munamommy, parenting magazine, healthyhairtotoe, targetbaby, cat and jack, dress the bump, bumpstyle, pregnancy fashion, how to prepare child for baby number 2, natural hair, pregnancy fashion, toddler fashion, old navy style, baby number 2, pregnancy, maternity style, mommy bloggerWhether you have 2, 3 or 10, all of your children will have different personalities. They’ll have different likes, dislikes, wants, needs, etc; across the board! You’ll connect with each child differently but the love will still be there. Imagine my shock when I realized baby number 2 loves sweets & veggies unlike his big brother…I almost fell out of my chair!..lol.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Favoritism is a real thing. Long-term favoritism can have damaging effects into your LO’s adult years. We as parents need to be mindful of how much attention and affection we’re giving our kids daily.

One of the most important things you can do for your children is love them the way they need you to rather than how you think you should love them. 

motherhood, bossmom, bossmomnation, munamommy, parenting magazine, healthyhairtotoe, targetbaby, cat and jack, dress the bump, bumpstyle, pregnancy fashion, how to prepare child for baby number 2, natural hair, pregnancy fashion, toddler fashion, old navy style, baby number 2, pregnancy, maternity style, mommy bloggerIt all boils down to 2 things. What part of us & how much of us each child will require at any given moment are key. For example, my older son likes to cuddle and watch movies together. My younger son would rather me in the room but space to do his own thing (yes, even at 10 months..lol). I’m sure certain aspects of their personalities & interests may change as they get older. We’ll be sure to encourage those interests & passions to help them thrive. Bottom line, they’ll always know they are loved for who they are as individuals.

Are you expecting baby number 2 or thinking about adding to your tribe? You may want to keep this in mind. Don’t beat yourself up and do the best you can to see your children as individuals. One of the most important things you can do for your children is love them the way they need you to rather than how you think you should love them. motherhood, bossmom, bossmomnation, munamommy, parenting magazine, healthyhairtotoe, targetbaby, cat and jack, dress the bump, bumpstyle, pregnancy fashion, how to prepare child for baby number 2, natural hair, pregnancy fashion, toddler fashion, old navy style, baby number 2, pregnancy, maternity style, mommy blogger

Can you relate? How has becoming a parent of two or more changed your perspective on parenthood? Let’s chat below!

Healthy Hair To Toe <3

 

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How To Teach Your Children Mindfulness

mindfulness, self care, teach kids mindfulness, kids yoga, yoga, mommy and me yoga, health, wellness, blogger, mommy blogger, healthy hair to toe, family mindfulness

We’re a little over 2 weeks into 2017. How are those New Year’s resolutions coming along? Many people are promising to be more mindful this year. Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and connecting to one’s emotions without judgement. The benefits of actively practicing mindfulness include:

  • reduced stress & anxiety levels.
  • improved focus.
  • better sleeping habits.
  • manage stress.
  • increased ability to regulate emotions (Lord knows kids & teens need this just as much as us!..lol.)
  • develop a positive outlook.

In today’s society of instant gratification through technology and social media, mindfulness is as essential to kids as healthy eating and education. My husband and I have committed to being more mindful and teaching our children to do the same. Here are 3 mindfulness activities you can teach your children to set a foundation for them to thrive academically and in all aspects of life.

Take a Brain Break

I can vividly remember my kindergarten teacher taking us outside to learn about the types of clouds.  After our lesson she had us lay on our blankets and look at the sky and tell her what images we saw in the clouds. I didn’t realize then but my teacher was incorporating a mindfulness activity into our science lesson. She was giving us a “brain break”. mindfulness, self care, teach kids mindfulness, kids yoga, yoga, mommy and me yoga, health, wellness, blogger, mommy blogger, healthy hair to toe, brain breakThis brain break was allowing us to decompress and quiet our minds. It’s an effective tool in helping children (and adults) to process what we just learned. Brain break activities can be done during homework time, stressful situations or while transitioning from one activity to the next. Side note: To this day I can name each type of cloud (cirrus, cumulus, stratus) and vividly describe each of them.

Take a Listening Walk

Leave the cellphones (o.k, take 1 with you but leave it in your pocket) & head outside for a listening walk! Much like a nature walk, listening walks teach kids to rely on their senses and take in their surroundings. I love doing listening walks with my preschooler. He loves pointing out the animals he sees and hears or random street signs and cars. Most of the time I don’t even need to prompt him!mindfulness, self care, teach kids mindfulness, kids yoga, yoga, mommy and me yoga, health, wellness, blogger, mommy blogger, healthy hair to toe Try asking your kids about the sounds they hear and what the sounds remind them of such as happy memories or experiences. They’ll have less room for negative thoughts and more room for the memories you are creating together.

Mindful Eating

In today’s age we are so used to being on the go with everything. We rarely take the time to enjoy our lunch, let alone life..lol. We tend to rush eating in order to move on to the next thing off our to do list. Mindful tasting stresses the importance of being present and in the moment while eating. It encourages us to enjoy every morsel of food on our plate.mindfulness, self care, teach kids mindfulness, kids yoga, yoga, mommy and me yoga, health, wellness, blogger, mommy blogger, healthy hair to toe Ask your kids to describe how their food tastes. Get specific on textures, colors and shapes. You can ask older kids about the different seasonings they may taste. Try encouraging your kids (all ages) to describe a happy memory or experience they associate their meal or dessert. Research has shown that watching television while eating causes us to eat more rather than being present in the moment and enjoying our meal. Our brains miss that signal that we’re satisfied because we’re too distracted.

Final Thoughts

As parents, the best thing we can do is lead by example. We can practice all of the activities mentioned and experience the same benefits of mindfulness as well. Try encouraging your children to practice mindfulness a few minutes each day in order to get a routine going. Children crave consistency, especially in their younger years. Practicing just one of these activities daily can have a positive impact on your kids and entire family. mindfulness, self care, teach kids mindfulness, kids yoga, yoga, mommy and me yoga, health, wellness, blogger, mommy blogger, healthy hair to toe, family mindfulnessThrough mindfulness, our children are learning that the key to experiencing life to its fullest potential is living in the moment. Do you and your children practice mindfulness? Have you noticed any benefits since practicing daily?

Healthy Hair To Toe <3

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Welcoming Baby Number 2 (DIY Sprinkle Shower)

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Hey guys! Things have been a bit hectic as we’ve been preparing for the newest addition to our crew while prepping our oldest for preschool. Last weekend we celebrated the upcoming arrival of our 2nd baby boy with a Sprinkle Shower.

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Now, I’ve never heard of a Sprinkle Shower until recently. Instead of a huge blowout shower like our 1st, we wanted to keep things a bit more intimate and low key.

We also didn’t need as many items since our boys will be close in age and my due dates are relatively close. However, there were items that needed to be replaced such as playpen, essential clothing items (socks, bibs), bottles and things of that nature. This was honestly just a way to get our closest friends and family together to eat, catch up and dance the afternoon and night away. If you’ve ever been to a traditional West Indian party then you have a pretty good idea of what I’m referring to!.lol.

Since I’m an avid lover of yoga, the theme was Yogi Mama. My best friend baked sugar cookies with the Ohm sign for the favors/thank you’s which I thought was extremely thoughtful and cute! image

My sister made a whole army of chocolate cupcakes with green vanilla icing for our guests (mainly their kids) to enjoy. They were an absolute hit!imageimage image image image

We wanted to incorporate our oldest into the shower as well so we decided to design our cake with Winnie the Pooh & friends. Our oldest is obsessed with Pooh bear! image

imageWe also used mason jars, lemons, limes and some decorative (fake) flowers for DIY center pieces. This took the pressure off of ordering a bunch of center pieces that we were going to be thrown out anyway. We saved at least $100 by making our own center pieces. image

We are extremely grateful to our family, friends and colleagues who helped us celebrate the upcoming arrival of baby boy #2! The countdown begins!

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My sister in Christ, fellow teacher and great friend @JustJolo
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Missing a few: My dad, sisters, brother & niece. ❤️
My younger brother and oldest niece. ❤️
My younger brother and oldest niece. ❤️
Fellow mommy in crime & one of my childhood friends @foreveramazing86.
Fellow mommy in crime & one of my childhood friends @foreveramazing86.

Stay tuned for more updates! Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @HealthyHairToToe for daily updates on beauty, health, wellness, fashion and my journey through motherhood!

Dress: PinkBlush Maternity

Earrings: The Wrap Life

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